Sunday

Good Morning! I am trying to talk myself into being up and happy about being up. I would like my husband to wake up without me asking him to get up. I would like him to hear the boys and roll out of bed not roll over, away from the boys entering the room. I just want to go to sleep before ten10:00o'clockand wake up when I wake up. I just want to sleep is that so much to ask?. To bad for me, I have kids, this sleep thing is no longer in my control.

I am destined to be tired. Why does this idea stay with me?

I have just had a revelationhit me like a brickI can!control my sleep I just have to go to bed even though I have choresyuck don't want to do them anyway to do. I just have to go to bed even though my mind is still full of all the things the kids and I have done today and have to do tomorrow. I just need to stop when the clock hitsBam!9:30p.m. and lie down and sleep. Then all I have to do is wake upGulpbefore the kids. I'm not even sure when they really wake up. They wake up and play in their room and I wake up when they start to get loud. (I assume this is not that long because the boys don't last long during the day when I leave the room. I will take two steps down the hall toward the basement to change the wash and the boys are arguing about who had what toy and who gets to play and who pushed who and why did you hit me and I didn't hit you you took my toy and on and on and on.)

Breathe. Calm Down. Like my mental health doc says, "tell yourself 'I am OK' when ever you feel stressed" I should not get stressed just sitting here typing, but I am so emotional I am right back in the situation when I type it. I hope putting it down here will let me not carry it around all day. Maybe I will have less baggage to carry. Grab your coffee and lets toast to hope and control. Cheers!