Sunday

Good Morning! I am trying to talk myself into being up and happy about being up. I would like my husband to wake up without me asking him to get up. I would like him to hear the boys and roll out of bed not roll over, away from the boys entering the room. I just want to go to sleep before ten10:00o'clockand wake up when I wake up. I just want to sleep is that so much to ask?. To bad for me, I have kids, this sleep thing is no longer in my control.

I am destined to be tired. Why does this idea stay with me?

I have just had a revelationhit me like a brickI can!control my sleep I just have to go to bed even though I have choresyuck don't want to do them anyway to do. I just have to go to bed even though my mind is still full of all the things the kids and I have done today and have to do tomorrow. I just need to stop when the clock hitsBam!9:30p.m. and lie down and sleep. Then all I have to do is wake upGulpbefore the kids. I'm not even sure when they really wake up. They wake up and play in their room and I wake up when they start to get loud. (I assume this is not that long because the boys don't last long during the day when I leave the room. I will take two steps down the hall toward the basement to change the wash and the boys are arguing about who had what toy and who gets to play and who pushed who and why did you hit me and I didn't hit you you took my toy and on and on and on.)

Breathe. Calm Down. Like my mental health doc says, "tell yourself 'I am OK' when ever you feel stressed" I should not get stressed just sitting here typing, but I am so emotional I am right back in the situation when I type it. I hope putting it down here will let me not carry it around all day. Maybe I will have less baggage to carry. Grab your coffee and lets toast to hope and control. Cheers!

Big day???

Here I am at 10:54 p.m.past my bed time by almost an hournot about to go to bed. I am wiredtwo and a half cups of iced coffee at 7:30 p.m.and my mind is racing so fast I may not be able to clearly communicate here. I feel like it was a big day but when I started to type I thought we didn't really do much, returned some library books, had class at the YMCAboys had class I when for a walk.Hung out at grandparents house for a few hours had lunch with them, came home youngest napped, I taught my oldest to readMat sat. Sam sat.watch some superman cartoons then back to grandparents house for dinnerfresh home made pesto.Kids played in sand box dug in the dirt. We finally got home at 9:20two hours and twenty minutes past bed time. oops!So I just updated my ipod play list for my workouts and now I'm off to bed. See no big day, what was I thinking?

morning

My youngest"I peeeeeed mooooommmy"woke up this morning covered in pee, it was to early for me too think past "clean pee off my boy". I slowly dragged myself out of bed, down the hallall of ten feet but it felt like a mile.I removed his shirt and washed him off, put a clean good nite on him and brought him to bed with me. That was my first mistake, my husband and I share a queen and the two of us fit perfectly. If you add a squirming three3year old who can't decide if he is hot"I waant thaaa coverrrrsssssss"or cold"toooo hot mooooooommmmmy". We don't fit happily. I think my husband got two and a half more hours of sleep than I. I finally ended up on the couch with my sweet son trying tokeep my eyes openwatch Dr. Seuss.
I am tired.

just the begining

Well here I go...um...ok. I just finished four episodes of Supernanny on DVD and I feel armed with some tools to put into effect with my little one and some things I am going to try to change about me as wellgulpwish me luck.